WHAT IS IN A NAME?

People constantly ask me where did we come up with the clever name of our home. No really, people on the street, who happen to not read this blog, come up to me as I am shopping at Nell Hills, Limited Express, or even Costco, and say: "Hey Ron Megee,(for some reason, people always say my last name), why Chestnut House?" I smile. This question is new to me. Usually people want to know "How is your sister, Missy, holding up?" or, wouldn't "Who's the Boss" make a great musical for your closed theater Late Night? I smile again at their inquisitive stares, and then, for the next fifteen minutes, while I shop for semi-faux chipped French candlesticks, or an orange and white stripped knit top, or even 80 pounds of toilet paper, I explain the meaning of our house name:
First, I start by telling them a famous quote from t.s. elliot, well, really a quote from my favorite musical of all time, CATS. Remember, I was a kitten (a CATS understudy) for 10 years, on the non-equity Northwest Canadian tour, so I am an expert on the words of t.s., even if I only went on once for the sick Grizabella. So first, I tell them the quote and insert key choreographed moments from the show:
"The Naming of Houses is a difficult matter, (lick paw here)
It isn't just one of your holiday games; (paw ear back and forth)
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter (claw air like you're scratching a carpet post)
When I tell you, a home must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES. (stretch and kick leg above your head and lick your tail)
I instantly collapse on my Costco rolling cart after this last phrase,(I am, after all, 41 years old this week) and start rubbing my cramping thigh muscle. They usually just stare at me after this.
Immediately, I remind them that many famous people have named their homes: Monticello, Mount Vernon, Sunny-brook Farm,..hello, Neverland? They keep staring at me.
I then proceed to tell them that Jon and I went through many names before we came up with this one. We started with the obvious Sixth Street House, but thought that sounded like a turn-of-the-century brothel. Then there was the combining of our names (one Megee + Adams = Megadams.) " Welcome to the Megadams home." We realized this one would be too hard to pronounce once we had drunk too much port. And then we saw one of the last surviving Chestnut trees in our neighborhood dropping seed pods, and thought, this is it. I mean, Green Gables was named because their gables were green, and we once had three Chestnut trees planted on our property until they got root rot and died, so why not? The curious people keep staring at me.
In addition, I tell them, many new couples have moved to the neighborhood, and probably are looking for names for their humble place of residences: Georgianna and Martin's new place could be called "The Buchanan Bungalow", and Scott and Paula's place: "The Hobart Homestead", Jon and Marlin's: "The Piggy-Deen Manor", and Andy and Alan's could be "The AA Fantasy Abode and Leisure Pavillion". Everyone could have names for their dwelling place, their lodgings. A name for the home is important. I look up from the cart and they are still staring at me.
I scream out "Why do you keep staring at me?"
In a dead pan voice, they say " Who knew a 41 year old man could kick his leg up so high and lick his thigh!"
I stare back at them, scream out, abandon my shopping cart and run back home to the safety of Chestnut House.

Until next week-

Ron (and Jon and Atticus)